Checking in: 3+ months without Prozac

Hayley Jade is a Transformational Breath Therapist and Group Leader. | hayleyjade.co

We’ll start with the good stuff

Since coming off Prozac I made the decision to move to Brighton and would you believe it we are here already, in a rented flat by the sea. Living in Luton had its perks. It was affordable, plus my family and one of my oldest friends lived close by, but I long felt the need for change. I wanted to meet more people that share my interests for example, plus my fella and I both wanted to expand our professional and creative networks.

Rip it!
  • Interesting cafes, restaurants and shops at every twist and turn — even an award-winning Jazz venue on our doorstep.
  • Our bright and sunny flat with its sky filled balcony, just calling out for a pot plant or ten.
  • Friendly interactions everywhere I go — taxis, buses, even just passers by.
  • Walks along the seafront — the pink and yellow coastal flowers, the neon lights of the Palace Pier and of course the big blue.
Aaaaah the big blue

The bad and the ugly

Whilst the decision to move was right, it sure as hell has been a lot of work. Tiring and stressful are the two words that come to mind. Here are some of the ways stress took hold during the move and in my first week here in Brighton:

  • Seeing everything through a blacker lens than usual (and making damn sure my fella new about it).
  • Tearful moments.
  • Wanting to hide away and not be around people.
  • Thoughts about needing to go back on Prozac.
  • All culminating in getting a stinking cold!
  • “I do my best and my best is good enough.”
  • Daily steps — 7000 minimum
  • 3-4 workouts a week — 30mins each

I think I’ve learned an important lesson

In the throes of moving and feeling all the feelings that change brings up, I’ll be honest, I really started to think I needed Prozac again. I started to weave a narrative that went:

  • Healing without meds is too slow.
  • The lows are too disruptive to my life, relationship, friendships, career goals.
  • Modern life is tough. Maybe it was always tough even before it got modern. Prozac might be a Band-Aid, but perhaps a Band-Aid is the most effective way to survive and thrive. Thank God for modern medicine.
  • Healing with meds isn’t healing. Meds help you cope by alleviating symptoms which is different. They don’t act on root causes or help you integrate difficult emotions. I’m not against meds, I hold no black and white views, but my preference is for healing. Bottom-up, inside out healing.
  • The lows are disruptive, yes, but each time I recover I’m gaining insight and confidence in a way I never experienced in all my years on meds.
  • There is value in the lows. They are feedback from yourself to yourself saying ‘Hey, I don’t like this!’ about whatever it is that’s getting you down. There’s wisdom in listening to exactly what it is your soul is objecting to, so you can clarify what it is you’d like to go towards instead.
Hayley Jade is a Transformational Breath Therapist and Group Leader. | hayleyjade.co

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Hayley Jade

Hayley Jade

12 Followers

Writer & Creative | Transformational Breath® | If you like my Medium ‘column’ discover my vlogs and original music at https://linktr.ee/hellohayleyjade